• At CPT we are committed to ensuring the best possible experience for all artists, audience members and other visitors to our space. We welcome customers and artists with disabilities and are pleased to assist you in your visit. 

    If you have any questions or enquiries, please do get in touch by phone at 020 7419 4841 or email at foh@cptheatre.co.uk.

  • Whats On

    Comedy

    Image: Stumble Trip's Heather and Harry
    Rupert Bevan, writer and performer, gazing through a glass window
    Rupert Bevan presents

    Darling Boy

    Wed 18 - Thu 19 Sep at 7.15pm
    Direct from acclaimed, sold-out shows in Edinburgh, Dublin, Melbourne and Sydney. A hilarious and heartbreaking ode to first love, sweaty clubs, family and growing up (whenever that happens...)
    A woman in a cloak jumps into the air, in front of a graffitied wall.
    Sarah Malin presents

    Not Dead Yet

    Wed 18 - Thu 19 Sep at 9pm
    Sarah Malin is NOT DEAD YET. In this unsolicited birthday retrospective she returns to her theatrical roots to play all the parts she would have been been brilliant at.
    LINDA is shrouded in folds of pink fabric. They wear dark pink gloves and have bright pink lipstick on. They are biting into a small pink cupcake. Their teeth are on show tearing off a piece of sponge.
    Ellie Brewster presents

    Linda(?)

    Fri 20 - Sat 21 Sep at 9pm
    Pure Panic. Pure Cake. Pure Joy. This joyful comedy looks at how far women have been taught to cater to other people's needs whilst looking good in pink.
    In the woods, a woman with hair in pigtail plaits sits on the arm of a chair eating crisps.
    Dora Colquhoun presents

    The Lodger

    Tue 24 - Wed 25 Sep at 9pm
    4 humans and 1 hoofed mammal, all on a mission to find home. This hilarious and sometimes tragic tale follows a lodger's journey as she encounters a menagerie of characters.
    WORK IN PROGRESS
    Illustration of a boy sitting at a drumkit, holding drumsticks, his arms raised. At his feet is a loop station and to his left is an electric guitar. He wears platform boots, torn skinny jeans, a baggy tee, a beanie, wristbands and a choker.
    Laurie Stevens presents

    Sticky Floors

    Tue 24 Sep at 7.15pm
    A wild mashup of character comedy, clown, drag & live music. Oh and peak 2006 teen angst.
    A womens face with her hait up in between two pineapples.
    Marianne Tuckman presents

    The Dirt

    Wed 25 - Thu 26 Sep at 7.15pm
    Combining voice, movement and text, this pulsing tragicomedy reduces the climate crisis to the metaphor of a filthy house. When home becomes contaminated, how do we dream about the future?
    Alexis, the performer, wears a white tank top and poses with their arms above their head, their hair draped in all directions, in front of a white wall, their head tilted and a bright smile on their face.

    Alexis Sakellaris: A STAN IS BORN!

    Thu 26 - Sat 28 Sep at 9pm
    If you can't be the star... be the STAN! Fresh off the Edinburgh Fringe, this queer musical comedy with 10 original songs is bound to dazzle you!
    Woman sitting in pillow fort. The fort is surrounded by sketches, including phones, drugs, a teddy bear and a boat.
    Guy Rapacioli presents

    Beautiful Nothing

    Tue 1 - Wed 2 Oct at 7.15pm
    Sam, alone in a hotel room, is this year’s breakout box office star, a sex symbol, and a social media sensation. She’s built a pillow fort and won’t come out.​
    WORK IN PROGRESS
    A person peeking through a tear in a large pink sheet of paper.
    Doug Crossley presents

    No More Mr Nice Gay

    Sat 5 Oct at 7.15pm
    Doug Crossley is diving into his villain era in this confessional comedy with songs that sashay between hard and soft themes for a dark funny pause for thought.
    WORK IN PROGRESS
    A drawing of a large pink elephant staring straight at you- it's standing in a mess of rubble and what looks like blood. Detectives lurk in the background, and crime scene tape stretches across the scene.
    Eloise Heath presents

    PULSE

    Tue 8 - Wed 9 Oct at 9pm
    ‘PULSE’ is a true story: it is also a pack of lies. Built around a series of verbatim interviews, this true-crimedy asks the audience to think the unthinkable.
    A cubistic collage of different faces.

    The Mute Messiah

    Tue 22 - Wed 23 Oct at 9pm
    A Blend of verbatim theatre and dark comedy that explores the range of absurd, heartfelt, comical, humiliating, cruel, and uplifting encounters of young people within the benefits system.
    a messy room. pieces of paper litter the floor, a black box, and wooden benches in the background. a flipchart contains the numbers 4761. bunting is hung across the ceiling, and a pinata hangs by a rope. the room looks cold and bare.
    Theatre Tapas presents

    Theatre tapas: Politiclowns

    Mon 28th Oct at 7:15pm
    Don't fill yourself up on a whole play, just have some nibbly bits.
    Black graphic of a balaclava on a green & orange background. In the left of eye of the balaclava is a Virgin Mary Statue, in the right the floating head of Gerry Adams. In the mouth, there are small blue ghost shaped pills made to look like teeth.

    The Spectacular

    Tue 12 - Sat 16 Nov at 9pm
    The Spectacular is an experiment in the performance of (Irish)nationalism, interrogating how to engage with contentious history when the descendants of colonised and coloniser, are together in a theatre.
    WORK IN PROGRESS
    A black and white photograph of someone's neck, from the collarbone to the chin; with a skeleton skull drawn on the surface of the throat area, in black marker
    Popsie Theatre presents

    The Triumph of Death

    Tue 12 - Wed 13 Nov at 7.15pm
    A bunch of artists with no funding, the ultra-wealthy, and one very sexy Death present to you a show about the healthy relationship between Art and Money.
    A woman, wearing a white veil, alluding to the Virgin Mary, smiling, standing behind a table. On top of the table, a bible and an opened bag of crisps.
    Maria Machado presents

    Now, and at the Hour of Our Death, Amen

    Tue 19 - Wed 20 Nov at 9pm
    Maria’s Catholic, homophobic, sweet grandmother is about to pass. During a night spent at the hospital, Maria, a very guilty lesbian, wonders if she should to come out to gran.
    A statue of a huge soldier bust wearing a high viz jacket, emergiubg from a pile of rubble. Two builders in high viz vests in the forground: one with his back to us, the second facing us with his face hidden in his hands.

    The Monument

    Thu 21 - Fri 22 Nov at 9pm
    A one-woman performance with audience participation using drag, spoken word and comedy. A story of Bogdan - an Eastern European builder working on a mysterious construction site.
    A commemorative plate for princess Diana with an Irish blessing written on it.

    Don’t Tell Dad About Diana

    Sat 23 - Sun 24 Nov at 7pm
    Dublin, 1997. Two friends worship Princess Diana under the nose of their nationalist families. A show that asks, Can a republican rock a revenge dress?
    WORK IN PROGRESS
    An illustration of an East Asian older woman resembling a grandmother riding a moped with Chinese dim sum stacked neatly on the back. She is riding through a rural town with generic traditional Chinese housing and onlookers.

    Ancestral Time Travel Agency

    Sat 23 - Sun 24 Nov at 8:45pm
    Using parkour and clowning to take apart the constructs of an honourable Chinese lady, this work-in-progress explores the artists' identities and memories within both East and West cultures.
    WORK IN PROGRESS
    A woman with fangs, dressed in a black dinner jacket and red shirt. A man wearing a pink dress. They are sat back to back looking at the camera. Behind them is a brick wall.
    Ofthejackel presents

    Countess Dracula

    Tue 26 Nov at 9pm
    From the forgotten depths something truly awful is coming. Lurking in the shadows, A parasite, A monster, A woman. Countess Dracula.
    James (white blond, bearded man) stands in the wash of waves from the sea wearing a medical gown with his bum out. next to him is an empty chair and a table with a record player on it. On the ground are discarded records, the sea and sky are grey
    James Rowland presents

    James Rowland Dies at the End of the Show

    Thu 28 - Sat 30 Nov at 7.15pm
    A desert island disc spun from threads of the future. About life, humanity and of course James Rowland will die at the end of the show.
    Two performers in a white facepaint with moustaches drawn on.
    Sh!t Theatre presents

    Sh!t Actually

    12, 13, 14, 17, 18 Dec at 7pm
    WE ARE YOUR NEW TRADITION. WE ARE YOUR WEIRD FAMILY. A two-woman 100% faithful, word-by-word (not really) remake of the Christmas film we all hate to love: ‘Love Actually’.
    A man in a robe with black thick rimmed glasses and a moustache looks fed up in a giant DIY cauldron with a folk-ish spooky wicker hat on his head. In the background is a wood of trees with a dark blue background.
    Edy Hurst presents

    Edy Hurst’s Wonderfull Discoverie of Witches in the Countie of Himself

    Thu 12 - Fri 13 Dec at 9pm
    Hark! Grab your broomsticks and join Edy Hurst on a spirit journey following remarkable revelations about his relations, combining The Lancashire Witches, Neurodivergence and the Venga Boys.
    Paul and Laura look cool holding lollipops

    Paul & Laura Don't Give a Sh*t (sorry)

    Tue 17 - Wed 18 Dec at 9pm
    Paul and Laura are extremely edgy performers who are very edgy actually and don't care if you like their show (sorry).