• At CPT we are committed to ensuring the best possible experience for all artists, audience members and other visitors to our space. We welcome customers and artists with disabilities and are pleased to assist you in your visit. 

    If you have any questions or enquiries, please do get in touch by phone at 020 7419 4841 or email at foh@cptheatre.co.uk.

  • View Cart icon
  • Sh!t Theatre presents

    Sh!t Actually

    12, 13, 14, 17, 18 Dec at 7pm
    Tickets £8 - £15 (+ booking fee)
    WE ARE YOUR NEW TRADITION. WE ARE YOUR WEIRD FAMILY. A two-woman 100% faithful, word-by-word (not really) remake of the Christmas film we all hate to love: ‘Love Actually’.

    The best Christmas film of all time Vs the Worst Christmas film of all time - both receive the Sh!t Theatre treatment. Free goody bags. Free booze. Nudity guaranteed.

    To celebrate CPT’s 30th birthday, Sh!t Theatre are back with their cult Christmas classics pitted against one another: Sh!t Theatre’s Sing-A-Long-A-Muppet Christmas Carol versus Sh!t Actually.

    Love Actually is sh!t, actually.

    "Magnificent fringe legends" (Time Out) Rebecca Biscuit and Louise Mothersole take on their hardest roles yet. All the roles. With live songs, queer love stories, and politics questioned by women with actual lines – you're invited to this adults-only celebration of Christmas Actually.

    From the makers of DollyWould, Sh!t Theatre Drink Rum With Expats and Sing-a-long-A-Muppet Christmas Carol (Time Out Top 12 Xmas Shows of 2018; “Justifiably much loved & brilliant” This Week London.)

    A brand new cult Christmas hit. 100% CPT Christmas sell-out. Get your tickets while you can.

    FREE GOODY BAGS.

    GRATUITOUS NUDITY.

    LOVE ACTUALLY VIRGINS WELCOME.

    Sh!t Actually is commissioned and supported by Camden People’s Theatre

    Content Notice
    Running Time 75 mins
    Wheelchair Accessible
    Wheelchair Accessible
    Assistance dogs welcome
    Assistance dogs welcome
    Content Notice
    Content NoticeTBC. TBC. Suitable for ages 18+
    Health Notice
    Health NoticeTBC
    "Best Alternative Christmas Shows"
    Evening Standard
    "Top 10 Shows of the Year 2016 & 2019"
    Time Out
    "Sh!t Theatre, whose brilliant ‘Sh!t Theatre Drink Rum with Ex-Pats’ was one of Edinburgh’s biggest hits this year, take on Richard Curtis, and I think we can be absolutely confident who will win."
    Lyn Gardner
    "Surreal, clever and hilarious."
    Daily Telegraph
    "A bit much for my personal tastes"
    Everything Theatre
    "Any chance of Sh!t Weddings and a Funeral?"
    The Times
    "Sh!t Theatre’s achievement is to make it impossible to ever watch Love Actually again without your mouth falling agape in horror."
    Stage Door
    "Raucous and surprisingly moving"
    The Stage
    "Magnificent Fringe Legends. Twice as profound and a kerjillion times funnier than their more sober peers"
    Time Out
    "Sh!t Theatre’s shows have always combined performance art anarchy with bags of humour – slyly sliced by more serious concerns."
    The Independent

    Tickets for Sh!t Actually

    Thu 12 Dec, 19:00
    SOLD OUT
    Fri 13 Dec, 19:00
    SOLD OUT
    Sat 14 Dec, 19:00
    SOLD OUT
    Tue 17 Dec, 19:00
    SOLD OUT
    Wed 18 Dec, 19:00
    SOLD OUT

    "The seed commission has made me feel supported, not just as an artist but also a woman of colour whose story needs to be heard."

    CPT Commissioned Artist